Glittery Pieces

Hey you! Remember me? I am warm and nostalgic every time I drive by your white doors. The sound of gravel under my tires prompts me to turn my head and take you in. I'm usually inclined to slow down,.. but never stop. Your peachy-cream bricks,... I see ghosts standing and talking on your green carpeted steps. I see hands shaking and brides waving and suited mourners. I see pot-lucks and fund raisers and teenagers checking their watches... The me inside of me pushes open the heavy doors that creak and squeak when you're late. She walks across teal carpet and takes her place on the next to last pew. She is eleven. Wood the color of honey and sea-foam upholstery..she leans forward, picks up a tiny pencil and begins doodling in her bible, the one she received when she was baptised..full of tiny red and black words, numbers, artwork and truth. She again flips to the first few pages. Her favorite. Heavy pages containing lines for personal information. Her mother's neat cursive writing fills most lines, her childish chicken scratch fills the rest. Again she reviews herself. This is who she is..full names, dates, family tree, records of births, deaths, anniversaries. Wait,..something she never noticed before. Date of birth....skip down...fathers full name, mother's maiden name, anniversary...anniversary,...back up...date of birth. date of birth. anniversary,..Date.of.Birth..count the months..count the months, over and over, count the months, breath, breath. The sound of the sermon is drowned out by the choir, then the choir is drowned out by the wind..the wind swirls and swirls..blows her hair, delicate bible papers flap and roar in the wind, bulletins and tiny pencils are picked up, tiny red and black type is circling the room.. She squints to read what it says, they're moving too fast. They're singing...wait they are the choir? The literary choir is suddenly illuminated from above, she lifts her face to the light,..the choir and the wind begin a soft climax. They harmonize..they buzz..The light is bright, but her eyes can't get enough..it's warm. The radiant light blows her a kiss..it floats like a glittery leaf. Weight-less, it dances through the air..when it gets too close to the edge of the circle of words, they gently nudge it back to the middle. She watches this luminous floating thing with anticipation. She extends her eleven year old hand. It lands softly, and her heart leaps as she realizes it's not a leaf at all..it's a puzzle piece, the very last one. All dazzling and golden sparkle. She knows where it goes, she knows it belongs to her. She closes her hand protectively around it, no one would take this away. The golden light chuckles. She slips her hand under her dress, quickly tucks it into her heart. She looks back up and exhales long and deep. Questions, confusion, prolonged mourning of a love that never was, self defeating prayers pour out in that breath, they float upwards..dark and menacing, she watches the radiant light gather it up in one brilliant hand, and throw it over one shoulder. Gone for good.


Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32