Coma..

Hey you! Remember me? I'm that girl that used to cram into your little blue car every single morning of the summer.. to make "blocks" and see what was "kick'n." You would call early, and I would wake up 10 minutes later and realize I was sitting on the floor, next to my phone, the one that was attached to the wall, ..with a cord...that didn't stretch all the way to my bed..(ah remember those days?) and then I would realize there was someone on the phone, coaxing me into consciousness. You would then fill me in on the silly things I had said during my unconscious phone conversation and you would file them away for the next time we all wanted to have a good laugh at how hard 'that girl' sleeps. We took great pleasure in the way it disturbed my mother..at the way she would check me for a pulse, or that one time she accused me of being on cocaine (because everyone knows cocaine makes you sleepy.)..Yea, that was a lot of fun until she pulled an idea out of her sneaky-mom arsenal that no one saw coming. You remember, she began approaching me before I was awake and gently asking me questions. Questions about what I had done the night before or where I had been. Things like "Was the party much fun?" And "Just who was there and exactly how many beers did everyone drink? and by the way, who bought them? And also, who drove? And who hooked up? And honey," she would sweetly say "what does that mean exactly? Have you hooked up?" We all knew this posed a huge problem and threatened the entire structure of our social life. Something had to be done! But what? Thankfully, as it turned out, the majority of the time I would blabber about crazy dreams rather than truthful events and she grew bored.

How on earth did I sleep that hard? Why? Was I fighting off disease? Could I have been wearing myself out that much? What with the couch lounging and the MTV watching and the incessant gossiping and the pretending to do school-work and the riding around in cars and the laughing and the listening to music? I ponder on this quite often these days..usually when I'm collapsing into bed at midnight and my head hurts from thinking and listening, and my back hurts from all the tasks that involve family and children and work. I wonder if I'll ever get that coma-sleep back? Ever? I was thankful when it first departed, because I had a new baby - one that would be up every few hours and needed a mommy that was actually awake to feed it and change it. But now I want it back. Couldn't I have it back now? Now is when I really, really need it dammit! Now is when I pack enough to crap into my day to keep superwoman busy for a week! Couldn't I just sleep deep again? Just for one night? I can vaguely remember the heavenly way I felt upon waking from that deep coma-sleep... and I want it back! I WANT IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!